I Forgive.

I did not understand forgiveness.  What was I to do with deep emotions of betrayal and anger?

Pastors would preach that forgiveness is an act of my will and if I didn’t forgive others, God wouldn’t forgive me (see Matthew 6:14-15).  In my mind, I’d make a decision to forgive but my heart knew I was still full of bitterness.  My anger increased at the thought that I, the victim of wrongdoing, now deserved God’s unforgiveness!?!  It made no sense!

Until, one day I heard a different teaching on forgiveness.  The idea was to think in terms of forgiving a debt.  The pastor had us ask the question –
                         What does this person owe me?  

It dawned on me that the only thing the unforgiven in my life could owe me was an apology.  I laughed at the absurdity.  There was nothing the unforgiven could do that would undo the harm done to me.  This huge weight I’d carried of anger and bitterness, and the only payment I could receive was an apology.  

I could forgive that debt.  The dark cloud that was so heavy upon me for years shriveled to the size of a gnat which I flicked away.  I learned what forgiveness feels like – FREEDOM!

Knowing truths such as these two scriptures also help me to forgive:

        “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19 NKJV).

        “The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing.” (Psalm 34:10 NKJV)

What good could anyone owe me that has not already been provided through God?

Just to be clear, forgiveness doesn’t mean that I have to trust the ones I’ve forgiven.  This is a good time to ask God for wisdom.  Healthy boundaries are necessary; forgive and forget might not be wise.  However, God’s love covers a multitude of sin and thinks the best of people.  God has miraculously healed my wounds and l hope He has also brought about changes in the lives of those I struggled to forgive. 

So…
Forgiveness:

        Ask – What does this person owe me?  

        Put a name on that debt.  

        Let it go.  Trust God that all your needs are met.
        Walk forth in love.

I love this life!

Copyright 2012 Leah Lambert Smith

*Matthew 6:14-15  (NKJV)      “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Copyright 2012 Leah Lambert Smith

The Secret Place

There are many layers of revelation one can glean from a Bible passage.  This is a layer of revelation from Psalm 91.

 A man was in a public place and didn’t want to bring attention to himself by speaking out loud, so he was silently rebuking Satan.  In the middle of his rebuke, he heard the Holy Spirit.

          Who are you talking to?

          Lord, you see what’s going on here.  I am rebuking Satan.

         You know, he can’t hear you in here.

It dawned on the man that only God is all-knowing.  Satan can’t read his thoughts, so of course he couldn’t hear the rebuke.  The Holy Spirit spoke again.

         I’m the only one who can hear you in here.  This is the secret place of the Most High God.

When I heard this story, I immediately talked to God about it.  It made sense and witnessed to my spirit, but I had never thought of it that way.  I read Psalm 91 in light of our inner thoughts being a secret place to dwell with God.  Wow!

If you’re interested, here’s a link to the Amplified Version of Psalm 91:  

 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2091&version=AMP

Copyright 2012  Leah Lambert Smith

   

Beloved, Let Us Love

1 John 4:7-8 (NKJV):  
7) Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
8) He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

Verse 7 reads that everyone who loves meets two requirements:
     1.  They are born of God
     2.  They know God.

Verse 8 reads that he who does not love meets one requirement:
     1.  He does not know God.

It's interesting to notice that you can be born of God and not know God.  That is, you can be born of God and not love.
 
When I saw this years ago, it gave me hope.  I believed I was born of God, but seemed to be a failure at living out His love.  I had a lot of anger and, frankly, hate.  If love is the hallmark of Christianity, the attitudes and behavior of those labeled "Christian" can often be disappointing to themselves and others.

Love is a fruit of the Spirit, a product of growth.*  It's a process.  Getting to know God is a process.  Naturally speaking, we don't expect great knowledge from newborn babies.  We expect them to grow and learn.  Romans 5:5 reads that "the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost."  The love is there, but in seed form.  Its fullness (fruit) comes through growth in the knowledge of God.  

I had to allow myself time to get to know God.  I have patience with myself and others now.  We all have different growth rates at different times.  My process of growth is uniquely played out between God and me.  It is amazing and humbling to know that God wants me to have an intimate knowledge of His love.

Beloved, let us love one another...as well as we each know how...today.

* Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV)    ²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 

 

6/7/12 - For further understanding, check out my blog post, True Love, at  http://shiyrahthoughts.blogspot.com/2012/05/true-love.html

 

Copyright 2012  Leah Lambert Smith

Do what He's Blessing

It wasn’t my idea to write this blog.  While praying about teaching a class, the idea to write mini-lessons as blog posts dropped into my spirit.  I thought I would write, have others edit.  I wouldn’t have a timeline so my efforts would make it to the blog when they were finally well-written. That was my plan.

As I started writing, the Holy Spirit gave me His plan.  I was to post often and immediately – just put the ideas out there. So what if the wording and grammar were rough, I could fix it later if at all. My ego was not allowed to be involved in this blog.  I was not to include other people’s stories in my posts.  I wasn’t to teach and certainly not preach.  I was to briefly relate stories of revelatory moments I had experienced. I wasn’t even to comment on my revelations. The Holy Spirit, knowing the needs of each person reading, would do that.

So recently I hit the Publish button imagining the type person who could benefit from reading the post. In a moment of misplaced piety, I asked, “Lord, please bless this blog post…” He interrupted me with, 

“Don’t ask Me to bless what you do;
      ask to do what I’m blessing.”

(Have I mentioned that I LOVE THIS LIFE!)

Walking on Air

I was fighting fear.

I’d had a plan, a vision. I was confident all was moving forward. 

Until, it wasn’t.

A voice in my head was saying none of it was real.  The voice declared that I was walking on air, soon to have a major fall.  It said everyone would see my destruction and walk away.  

“You’re walking on air!” was repeated continually.  

I was expected at a friend’s house that evening, but wanted to crawl in a hole instead.  Rallying my remaining strength (fighting fear is exhausting) I resolved to visit my friend.  

I suppose driving distracted my dark thoughts just enough to allow a tiny ray of hope.  A picture of Peter walking on water flashed in my mind.  Peter fell only when he focused on the circumstances around him.*

Hope flooded my soul.  Peter was walking on the solidity of Jesus’ word, “Come.”  The very thing that would have drowned him had to support him because of Jesus' word and Peter's belief in it.  He had faith in Jesus’ proven authority.  So did I!

The plan I’d had was God given.  Even if the substance I was walking on appeared to everyone else to be air, I knew that I was strutting on solid rock.  Others were welcome to watch and wonder.  My eyes were focused on God alone.

I do walk on air, far above fear!

I love this life.

* Matthew 14:25-30 (CEV)
25 A little while before morning, Jesus came walking on the water toward his disciples. 
26 When they saw him, they thought he was a ghost. They were terrified and started screaming.
27 At once, Jesus said to them, “Don’t worry! I am Jesus. Don’t be afraid.”
28 Peter replied, “Lord, if it is really you, tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come on!” Jesus said. Peter then got out of the boat and started walking on the water toward him.
30 But when Peter saw how strong the wind was, he was afraid and started sinking. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

Know Thyself

"If you were raised with people who were powerful but didn't allow or encourage you to be powerful, you may have become an adult not knowing who you are."

Upon first read, that idea sounded a little weird to me.  How do you not know who you are?

Well, that unknowing person was me. 

To be an acceptable person, I thought I had to care about everyone else - what they thought, what they wanted.  Focusing on others' thoughts and wants gave them too much sway over my thoughts and wants.  With popular opinion being so inconsistent, I was a mess. 

I finally started making thoughtful decisions concerning my own life.  There's so much less drama when I'm not reactionary and trying to please everyone.  My actions are determined by core value decisions I've made.  For example, rather than simply trying to please others, I have core values that I will respect and love them.  

  

I have to be the star of my own life, not a bit player.

As my decisions are based on who I know I am, what I do does not come with regret.  That's huge!

I love this life!

Truth?

A leader I respected was accused of wrongdoing.

I asked, "Lord, is that true?"

I clearly heard His answer, "No." 

Shortly thereafter, the leader confessed to the accusations made against him.


Truth was once explained to me like this:

    Put a pencil on the table. 

I put a pencil on the table.

    Is it true that the pencil is on the table?

I answered, "Yes it's true, the pencil is on the table"

    Knock the pencil off the table. 

I knocked the pencil to the floor.

    It couldn't have been true that the pencil was on the table
    because truth doesn't change. 
    It may have been a fact that the pencil was on the table.  Facts
    can change.
    Truth never changes.


I was reminded of this explanation of truth when I asked God again about the man I respected.  I knew I had heard the Lord say the accusations weren't true, yet the man had confessed!  

The Lord explained,  

"If the accusations about this man were truth, he would have no opportunity for change." 

Restraint?

I asked a young man today:  

Do you know that as a man it is your responsibility to protect a woman from having sex with you outside of marriage?  

Is it such an old idea that men are to protect women?  That men are looking for dragons to kill and women are looking to be rescued? When I was younger, I would have scoffed at that idea.  Like I needed a man.  It irritated me that typically, a man was physically stronger than I and could possibly kill a dragon more easily.  However, I could deal with any dragons myself, my awesome female powers trumping that of testosterone.

But what if...

What might a woman think of a man who protected her from having sex with him outside of marriage? She could think he's crazy and not have anything to do with him.  Or, she could be intrigued.  It could foster trust between them.  It could make her feel that he had her best interests at heart.  If she saw that the rest of his character was at that level, she could feel secure.  She would probably feel that he valued her highly.  

These are things a man wants his bride to feel.  When times get tough in the marriage, she can remember that the character of her husband was a huge reason she wanted to marry him.  She might be more prone to think that staying with such a man is worth the seasons of struggle.

Can current actions be restrained for long term rewards?

It doesn't take age to exercise that level of wisdom.  The wisdom of God is available for all who ask.

Purposeful Parenting

My kids are leaders and visionaries.  They amaze me.

I received a couple of mandates from God about how to raise my children.  A little purposeful parenting yields awesome results.  I do wish I had been mindful of it in more areas of their lives; so much time seemed to be spent simply surviving. 

However, my husband and I were the ones gifted with these children. God's anointing to raise each unique child is part of the gift.

God's grace is super-sufficient.  He is the author and finisher  of my (His) children's faith (Heb. 12:2).  He has begun a good work in each of them and will bring it to completion (Phil. 1:6)...

 

And I am grateful.

I love this life.

Copyright 2013  Leah Lambert Smith

Stop That

I was crying while thinking about the children of two friends who were divorcing.

The Holy Spirit interrupted, "Stop that."

Taken totally off guard, my reply was the brilliant, "What?"

"Stop that.  This too I can turn to good."

Of course He can.  What a mistake to be lamenting as if these kids would be forever wounded, when God has such a history of turning things to good. 

The story of Joseph is recorded in Genesis chapters 37-50.  His brothers sold him into slavery and he was later jailed.  However, in the end, Joseph saved his whole family from starvation.  He tells his brothers in Genesis 50:20 (GNT), "You plotted evil against me, but God turned it into good, in order to preserve the lives of many people who are alive today because of what happened."

This has changed the way I look at negative circumstances.  I always expect to see good even as I'm going through them.  Why should I only see the good in hindsight?

I love the way God loves me.

I love this life!

Boundaries

I was raised that boundaries equaled selfishness.  If someone wanted something I should give it.  If I was asked to do something, it would be rude to say no.  A nice person did what it took to satisfy everyone else. 

Have you heard the story of the lady's garden? 

A lady lived in a house on the corner of a busy street in a small town.  Between her house and the sidewalks she planted a garden.  She lovingly tended the garden but unexpected things began to happen.  

It was common practice among the townspeople to take a shortcut through her yard.  Although her garden was there, they would still walk through with no regard for her time and efforts.  She was surprised and hurt.  She had never known that the townspeople disliked her.  

Also, animals were getting into her garden and eating her vegetables.  She would catch them in the act sometimes and shoo them away, but they would just come back and eat more.  The lady had been happy living in the town for years, but as the garden she loved was trampled and eaten day after day, her hurt became anger and she decided to move.  

When the realtor asked her reason for moving, the lady burst into tears and related the story of her precious garden.  The realtor looked at the lady's garden, then looked at the lady and asked, "Have you considered enclosing your garden with a fence?  The townspeople are so used to walking through your yard, they probably didn't even notice when you began to consider it a garden.  I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt your feelings.  As for the animals, it is their nature to eat what they find.  Make sure the fence you choose is adequate to keep them out."

It's such a simple story.  Yet when I heard it, multiple light bulbs went on in my brain.  I had been that lady for years.  I thought people were taking advantage of me when they probably didn't have a clue.  And I had never recognized that some people are naturally takers.  I had wondered for years why people were so mean!

I felt empowered!  Whenever someone asked me for something, I wanted to say, "No!" just because I could.  However, going from one extreme to the other was not the answer.  Since I was never taught there were such things as healthy boundaries I didn't know what they looked like.  I needed help. 

Thank God the Holy Spirit is our teacher.  He provides wisdom and guidance for everything I will ever encounter.  I need only ask.

I love this life!

 — Just heard a great podcast on boundaries - The Art of Self-Control by Danny Silk.  Check it out and share it with others:    http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/art-self-control-by-danny/id508515736?i=111241121

True Love

Ideas about love can be so messed up.  It seems to be viewed with restrictions and rules.  Love is used as an excuse for envy, lying, cheating…wars.

Christianity is supposed to be all about love.  At church we’d sing, “And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love.  Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.”   I sung this knowing I had anger and hate issues.  It confused me to believe I was a Christian on one hand but, if love was the measure of a Christian, was I deceiving myself? 

I heard many sermons on 1 Corinthians 13, "the love chapter", which intensified my confusion.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8a in the Amplified Bible reads:

4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
6 It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

With these as the rules of love, I was a failure.

However…

Thank God these are not rules!!!

These are ways to grow and heal and be free in God as I allow Him to change me from glory to glory!  They are not rules but destinations!  Love is not restrictions but freedom!

My anger was due to abuse.  1 Corinthians 13:5 reads that love takes no account of the evil done to it.  I didn't see how that was possible.  However, as I grow in love, I embrace love’s forgiveness.  My heart is healing, freeing me from anger and hate.  Love’s process can be gentle but is also fierce to overcome roadblocks.  I may not have arrived yet, but I’m much farther along the path than I was (just ask my family), and I will not quit.

As I surrender myself, with all of my faults, to God, He is molding and shaping me in His perfect love.

I love this life!

6/7/12 - For further understanding, read my blog post, Beloved, Let Us Love at  http://shiyrahthoughts.blogspot.com/2012/05/1-john-47-8-nkjv-beloved-let-us-love.html

Copyright 2012 by Leah Lambert Smith

God's Not Mad

I remember the day I was reading my Bible and the truth that God is never angry at me jumped off the page.  I felt a bolt of energy fill my body.  I had to move and sing and wonder and talk to God.  Were my feet even touching the floor?  I no longer carried weight.  My life was transformed!

I don't remember the specific scripture that I read that day.  I looked for it later and found that the Bible is replete with scriptures that speak of God's unconditional love.  Here's an example in Isaiah 54:9-10:

9 For this is like the days of Noah to Me; as I swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I will not be angry with you or rebuke you.
10 For though the mountains should depart and the hills be shaken or removed, yet My love and kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace and completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you.

I had been in church all of my life.  How did I not know this?  I got some insight from raising teenagers.  I wanted them to have fear of consequences.  I wanted to instill some dread of me as their disciplinarian mother into their psyche.  I loved my kids and hoped that being aware of the consequences of bad behavior would encourage their good behavior.  That's the way I was raised.  I could see why pastors, who love their flock, would want to encourage good behavior in their followers the same way. 

Attempts to control behavior from the outside in may work to some extent.  Knowing the unconditional, effusive love of God that transforms behavior from the inside out is better!  That's how God raises His kids and leads His church. 

I'm so glad God isn't mad at me!  He just loves me!

I love this life!

5-25-12  Here's another one:
Isaiah 43:25

New Living Translation (NLT)

²⁵ “I—yes, I alone—will blot out your sins for my own sake
    and will never think of them again.

You are not my problem.

"You make me so mad!", was a declaration I heard throughout my childhood.  It naturally became my own declaration and clearly justified whatever sort of negative behavior accompanied it. 

For too many years I believed the lie that some other person was my problem.

Change of thought #1:  Empowerment
    No one can "make" me mad.  My emotions belong to me and I choose the behavior that accompanies them.

Change of thought #2:  Understanding/Compassion
    Have I ever behaved like that person?  If so, what was my motive for the behavior?  If not, what could be a motive for that behavior?  Have I ever felt that?

Change of thought #3:  Release   
    Allow each person to be who he or she is.  It's not my job to change anyone.  I cast the care of that person onto God.  God created us and God can change us.  Therein lies great hope for us all.

Change of thought #4:  Love
    Love thinks the best of another. I value that person and choose to believe that person values me.  Everyone is allowed to have a bad day.

I love this life!

The Joy of Magnification

Felt a little down today.  That rarely happens anymore (THANK YOU GOD!).  When it does, it’s exciting to know I can go to God and He’ll encourage me in some fresh way.  As I magnify God’s goodness, the negative minimizes.

It’s like clicking the minimize button on my computer.  Though a negative circumstance may remain, it no longer retains its influence by filling my view.  It has been replaced by a screen filled with God’s glory.

I thought of David and read 1 Samuel 17.  David knew to magnify God.  When Goliath was causing fear among the Israelites, David took courage in the fact that he had already overcome the lion and the bear in God’s covenant strength.  David mentioned Goliath’s lack of circumcision because Goliath had no covenant with God, but David did!  Goliath’s presence seemed a hard thing to the other Israelites.  This giant would have defined their lives as Philistine servants had he overcome them.  However, David remembered his history with God of overcoming hard things.  It gave him the confidence to step up with a sling and a rock.

I no longer let the hard things of life define me.  Before a history of overcoming was established, if I could run away from hard things, I would.  I suppose David was scared the first time a lion came along.  Maybe he also wanted to run, but his only choice was to fight.  I’ve learned to see hard things differently.  Rather than causing me to shrink in despair, something on the inside of me rises up and anticipates seeing how the hard thing will propel me forward.  I become stronger and my confidence expands upon each success in God.   He is always larger than any circumstance.

Magnify the Lord!

I love this life!

Love and Respect in Marriage

Ephesians 5:33:

      However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. (Amplified version)

If a girl is raised to know she is loved by God and to love herself, not being loved will be foreign to her.  She probably won’t marry a man who doesn’t love her.  Along the same line, if a boy is raised to know he is respected by God and to respect himself, not being respected will be foreign to him. He probably won’t marry a girl who disrespects him.

However, a wife shouldn't depend on her husband to fill her love cup and a husband shouldn't depend on his wife to fill his respect cup.  Such expectations are way too much pressure to put upon one's spouse.  Our relationships are primarily with God.  A woman's love cup should always be full because she is so aware of the fullness of God's love for her.  The love her husband shows her is then an additional precious gift from him.  A man's respect cup should always be full because he is so aware of the fullness of God's respect for him.  The respect his wife shows him is then an additional precious gift from her.  Through their relationships with God, neither husband nor wife lack.

This has been one of the most freeing lessons I have learned about marriage.  My expectations of my husband were absurd. People love as well as they know how.  To know how I expected to be loved, my husband would have had to be able to read my mind.  Our confidence in God's love and respect for us frees both my husband and me to enjoy our relationship without condemnation from the other.

I love this life!